...breath and heartbeat

Entering into the Blogosphere for the first time...

2008-06-13T02:32:00.000-07:00

The long awaited video by Grassroots on xt3.com, the official social network for WYD2008.

Xt3.com
- Connect With Millions
- Share the Experience
- Build a Better World

... World Youth Day... Every Day...

Cardinal Pell on Xt3.com

2008-05-06T17:32:00.000-07:00

World Youth Day 2008 embraces new technology with Xt3.com

Xt3.com.

Connect with Millions. Share the Journey. Build a Better World.

The site will be live in a couple of weeks, watch this space!

Our Lord looks after His children and consoles us

2008-03-31T02:07:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to draw attention to this lovely comment I recently received:

Having just stumbled across your blog, I was hit by its extreme openness concerning the Love we should have for God. I think its absolutely excellent that people still think like you do.
The desire to discern God's will is very much my own stumbling block.
you mentioned it being difficult to love God with all your heart AND love another (i.e, future husband etc...) I used to think the same. However, recently I have come to understand that they are in fact one and the same. One Loves Christ to one's limit in various ways; by serving in a community and upholding the communities rules ...or by serving a husband and children and upholding morals within that framework.
Vocation is a confusing and intricate business...perhaps you feel, like I do, confused and a little alone in the decision making. A quote from the bible comes to mind, if this is so, 'be strong, let your heart take courage, hope in the Lord'.

My stance seems to be, 'Dear Lord, if you give me a husband, give me unwavering love and I shall love You through him, with all my heart. Serving the children you give me, as I would You. If however, you want to keep me for yourself, give me the courage to be Your faithful bride and a bride of the Church...' (then it peters out as I realise just how extraordinary that would be!!)

Well, I know you wrote this blog a few years ago and I hope and pray that you are no longer 'jobless' and have a little more of a clue as to your vocation.

Our Lord looks after His children and consoles us, 'it is when we are weak that we are very strong' .Wow!
In Christ.
M

I haven't blogged for over a year, gosh. I don't think I'll begin again any time soon. Work is mad at the moment, am working for the most fabulous project with Xt3.com and nursing a little part time, which doesn't leave much time for blogging. So I'll stop there :)

God bless you!

Under the semblance of freedom...

2007-03-13T05:15:00.000-07:00

I discovered, listening to The Today Program (I don't know how long this link will be available) that once again the government has decided that it's in the best interest of society to teach children as young as 4 that a same sex relationship is equal in every way to marriage. Marvellous. They're going to do this by a £600,000 government funded research initiative. The Guardian reports on this ("The prince married a man, and lived happily ever after") and provides a synopsis of the books' content as follows:

King & King
A queen wants her son to get married and become king. She arranges for a string of princesses to meet her son but he does not fall in love with any of them.
In the end it is one of the princesses' brothers who catches his eye. The princes get married and become two kings.
Spacegirl Pukes
A little girl who is about to set off on a space mission falls ill. Her two parents, mummy Loula and mummy Neenee take her home to look after her but then they fall ill too. When she recovers, the spacegirl puts back on her suit and goes on an adventure to space.
And Tango Makes Three
Two male penguins, Roy and Silo, live in a New York zoo but feel left out when all their friends pair up. They spend all their time together until the zoo-keeper realises they must be in love. The zoo-keeper gives the couple an egg and Tango is born, the first penguin in the zoo with two daddies.

I've found very little about this on the net, but it all seems very tied in with the furore about the SOR, which I've already blogged about. This is more of the same, but it's a little terrifying how quickly it's all moving. We were talking about it in the office today (also because I just got a very angry email at Xt3 from a gentleman who'd taken offense to something a lady called Kathy Goble said on TV, I don't know her, and she has no connection with us, but Charlie says she's lovely) and because Wetherby has a gorgeous community of very faithful Catholic families with lots of children they were (half joking) about all home-schooling together, a couple of the mothers are teachers, we'd be grand... except then it would be officially a school, and no school is exempt, apparently. Fr Tim reckons even homeschoolers will be attacked by these regulations.

I was impressed by a lot of Cranmer's comment on the matter, however found his insinuation that there was some preferential treatment for Catholics a little daft; as a Catholic I'm particularly keen to disassociate myself from Ruth Kelly, and am very disappointed in her stance given the general orthodoxy of Opus Dei, however I think this point is well put, and worthy of consideration:

The violation of a person’s dignity by refusing goods or services because of their sexuality has an equivalence in law, which is the violation of a person’s dignity by refusing goods or services because of their race or religion. The provision of anti-discrimination legislation in the minority area of sexual orientation does not negate the provision of anti-discrimination legislation in the minority area of religion. Under Human Rights legislation, one has the right to freely practise one’s religion, and therefore exemptions to this law must be permitted. If not, there will emerge a hierarchy of rights in which sexual orientations override all religious rights. How does the Equalities Minister intend to resolve this? What says the new Commission on Equalities and Human Rights?

All my blog posts nowadays seem rather disjointed and all over the place, still, I would like to finish with a quote from the Holy Father, and then leave this mess and go to the pub with Rachel.

Today, a particularly insidious obstacle to the task of education is the massive presence in our society and culture of that relativism which, recognizing nothing as definitive, leaves as the ultimate criterion only the self with its desires. And under the semblance of freedom it becomes a prison for each one, for it separates people from one another, locking each person into his or her own ego.
The various forms of the dissolution of matrimony today, like free unions, trial marriages and going up to pseudo-matrimonies by people of the same sex, are rather expressions of an anarchic freedom that wrongly passes for true freedom of man...from here it becomes all the more clear how contrary it is to human love, to the profound vocation of man and woman, to systematically close their union to the gift of life, and even worse to suppress or tamper with the life that is born.
Benedict XVI (taken from This Burning Fire blog)

Please pray for my vocation situation if you have time, am a little confused :)

In Christ, Mx

A Catalogue of New Nurse Errors

2007-03-08T04:21:00.000-08:00

clipped from www.timesonline.co.uk

So, I deleted my last rant, but I'm going to do another one.

In December I graduated with an honours degree from one of the top nursing schools in the country, I am a nurse, I've registered, trained for three years, got up at 5am to travel for 3 hours a day on public transport to placement, written around 100 000 words of assignments, passed every exam and incurred many thousand pounds worth of debt, as well as working as a "spare pair of hands" (and a good one, if every placement report is anything to go by) on a myriad of understaffed wards. Degree students are not paid a bursary. Now I can't get a job, fair enough, there are no jobs out there (not in Leeds anyway, the situation in Manchester is better, but I moved to Leeds, pretty sure God wanted me to come, so that's fine) however, I've been trying since SEPTEMBER to get back into the NHS, to work as a Care Assistant, earn half as much as I should be getting, but at least to be in hospitals looking after people. I went to interviews, filled in forms... obviously I got the job, I'm a nurse wanting to work as a care assistant for goodness sake. They finally gave me a training date (1 days mandatory training in each trust) then after I attended the training sent me a letter saying I hadn't attended (2 weeks later), admitted their mistake and sent me a massive induction pack, and a uniform request form, which I sent off. Today I called because it'd been over a week and I hadn't heard from them (getting used to this now) ..."we don't have any uniforms in stock, we're expecting a new shipment in 6-8 weeks"

So, I have ordered an "ethnic" uniform, which should arrive in a fortnight, and on Tuesday I had a job interview in a pub, because I love Xt3, but they can't afford to pay me an amount I can live on. Think I should get the pub job, they were very positive and said it was only about flexibilty, and I'm so desperate now I'd work any hours. I do feel let down.

UK Sexual Orientation Legislation

2007-03-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

Fr Tim, the hermeneutic of continuity, has written an excellent comment on the effects of the new Sexual Orientation Regulations on Catholic Education: Close the schools as well?

...In our view the Regulations prohibiting sexual orientation discrimination should clearly apply to the curriculum, so that homosexual pupils are not subjected to teaching, as part of the religious education or other curriculum, that their sexual orientation is sinful or morally wrong...

Marvellous.

All about mantillas...

2007-03-04T13:09:00.000-08:00

image from friendswithchrist

Edit: I just came across this most wonderful blog post on why we veil, I suggest you don't even bother reading mine, but head across to On Account of the Angels. I can't work out if it's written by the blog author, or all from the article she cites, but anyway, it's great. I won't delete what I've put already, mostly because it took me ages :)

so a few people have asked me about mantillas, where one can find them and why we wear them, or rather, why we can choose to. I thought it would be wise to create a post on it so if I get any more queries I can direct them here, so I'm just going to copy and paste what I've said elsewhere. firstly I'll link you to my other post on the subject, written when I was trying to make up my mind, and then copy and paste from a couple of messages I've sent people:

The Church has never told women that they shouldn't cover their hair, I think something happened after the council where a reporter asked a cardinal and he said that it hadn't been discussed, and the papers reported that no one had to any more. I guess the Church had bigger fish to fry and didn't make a fuss about it. Apparently according to the code of cannon law we still should, however far more intelligent people than me have argued either side of that debate, and I can't work out who is actually telling me what the Church teaches(!) I know that it is entirely permissable to veil, and I feel called to do it. I saw someone with a mantilla at mass a while ago and thought it looked so beautiful, and so feminine and so right, so I started to read into why we veil.

I think traditionally married women would wear black veils and single white, although it doesn't matter. When I first started to cover my hair at mass I wore a scarf because it was less noticeable, and then switched to a mantilla a few months later. To be honest I think the scarf just confused people, so in trying not to draw attention to myself I ended up bringing more. I wear a white mantilla because when I first became a Catholic I saw a woman in a black one and assumed she was a widow(!) ...and also I'm not married. I think it's nothing to worry about, I think EWTN sell blue mantillas, and I know some people who wore a bandana to cover their hair at WYD so as not to draw attention. Whatever you feel comfortable in :)

www.halo-works.com
www.modestyveils.com
EWTN shop
Catholic Sacramentals
Miles Jesue Bookstore
Immaculate heart Mantillas

Why Wear the Veil?

In ancient traditions dating back even thousands of years, the “veil” represented purity and modesty in many religions and cultures. A veil, or head covering, is both a symbol and a mystical sacrifice that invites the woman wearing it to ascend the ladder of sanctity.

When a woman covers her head in the Catholic Church it symbolises her dignity and humility before God, not men. It is no surprise women of today have so easily abandoned the tradition of the chapel veil (head covering) when the two greatest meanings of the veil are purity and humility.

The woman who covers her head in the presence of the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is reminding herself that she must be humble before God. As with all outward gestures, if it is practised enough it filters down into the heart and is translated into actions that speak volumes. The “veil” covers what the Lord calls, in Holy Scripture, “the glory of the woman”, her hair. Covering her hair is a gesture the woman makes spiritually to “show” God she recognises her beauty is less than His and His Glory is far above hers.

In doing this she is reminded that virtues cannot grow in the soul without a great measure of humility. So she wears the veil to please God and remind herself to practice virtue more ardently.

There is no other piece of clothing a woman may wear to serve this function. The veil symbolically motivates the woman to “bow” her head in prayer, to lower her eyes before the great and mysterious beauty and power of God in the Blessed Sacrament. By the bowing of her head and lowering of her eyes, she is more able to worship God in the interior chapel of her heart and soul.

The veil or head covering a woman wears gives a beautiful sense of dignity to a woman. When she wears it, she identifies herself with God’s greatest creation, the Blessed and Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God. There was none on earth that loved and loves the Lord Jesus more than the Blessed Virgin Mary. In her love, her humility breathed forth like sweet scented incense before God. The veil she wore symbolised her purity, modesty and of course her profound humility and submission before and to God Almighty.

Those women who love Jesus must come to realise the imitation of His Mother in wearing a chapel veil (head covering) and in other virtues is a small sacrifice to make in order to grow in spiritual understanding of purity, humility and love.

The covering of a woman’s head in Church is a striking reminder of modesty, something old but lost in the society of today. Modesty and purity walk hand in hand.

When a woman veils her head she is shielding her heart to be wooed by the love of God in the Blessed Sacrament. This is a mystical ‘country’ that only the Eternal Father may enter. Her veil is like the lighted lamps of the virgins waiting for the Bridegroom, an indication that she is prepared to receive Him at a moment’s notice; an aureole of her spiritual love for the Bridegroom. Wearing the veil is an act of love of God.

Why should a woman wear a head covering or veil in church? Not to be praised, not to go along, not for tradition’s sake, not to stand out in the crowd, not because you say or I say or anybody says…But because she loves our Eucharistic Lord Jesus and it is another small sacrifice she may offer for her soul’s sake and for the sake of many souls who have no one to offer for them. Amen.

(Sr Patricia Therese, OPB)

This is about Canon Law (thanks for the tip Adam!):

From Part II of Robert Sungenis, M.A.'s "What's a Woman To Do? The Issue of Wearing Veils":

Most of the objections raised by modernist Catholics are based on the idea that the new code of canon law issued in 1983 under John Paul II does not reiterate the specific mandate for women to wear head coverings that appeared in the 1917 code of Canon Law, and therefore there is no longer any obligation for them to do so. The 1917 code says:

“Men, in a church or outside a church, while they are assisting at sacred rites, shall be bear-headed, unless the approved mores of the people or peculiar circumstances of things determine otherwise; women, however, shall have a covered head and be modestly dressed especially when they approach the table of the Lord.”

The modernist further argues that, Canon 6 of the new 1983 code abrogates the 1917 code, and therefore, any commands given in the 1917 code are not applicable after 1983. Canon 6 states:

“When this Code takes force, the following are abrogated: (1) the Code of Canon Law promulgated in 1917.”

On the surface, this seems like a solid case for the plaintiff, but as Solomon teaches us in the Proverbs: “He who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him” (Pro. 18:17).

First, irrespective of what either the 1917 or 1983 code say in this matter, the fact remains that women donning head coverings as they entered the Church has its roots in tradition, and it continued unabated for almost two millennia until it suddenly fell into disuse in the 1970s (coincident with the Women’s Liberation movement, just so no one forgets). Hence, the 1917 code was merely reiterating, and putting into more specified and legal form, what the Church already knew from Scripture and the Fathers, and which she was faithfully practicing. Similar to the Women’s Liberation movement of the 1970s, however, already in 1917, the rise of the Women’s Suffrage movement was convincing some Catholic women that they need not follow the practices of the traditional Church. In answer, the 1917 code reminded them of their ecclesiastical obligations. Nothing had changed as far as the Church was concerned. Unfortunately, by the time of the 1970s, the Church had bowed sufficiently enough to the pressure from women’s liberation groups, which by this time had seeped far and wide into the Church, and thus, weakened as she was, she failed to follow the lead of the 1917 code.

Second, it goes without saying, and is merely a matter of procedure, that a new code of canon law supercedes and abrogates a former code, since there cannot be two legal entities competing against one another. Legally speaking, only one entity can be the authority. It was the same with the New Covenant that replaced the Old Covenant. The New Testament is clear that, legally speaking, the New Covenant completely abrogated the Old Covenant (cf., Hebrews 7:18; 8:7, 13; 9:15; 10:9). We are not legally bound to obey any of the laws in the Old Covenant.

Ah, but here is the catch. Although the New Covenant, on a legal basis, supercedes the Old Covenant, nevertheless, it continues to borrow from and promote the legal principles contained in the Old Covenant, which is why the New Testament writers consistently cite Old Testament laws and practices as being applicable, in principle, in the New Testament (cf., 1 Cor 14:34-35; 1 Timothy 2:13-14; 5:18; 1 Peter 3:6, etc). The New Covenant takes from the Old all the things that were good, for as St. Paul reminds us, “the law is holy, and the commandments are holy and righteous and good” (Rom. 7:11).

All legal enterprises work the same way. For example, in a court of law, although former cases have no legal authority upon the case presently being argued, still, an attorney can cite previous legal decisions as “precedent” to help the judge or the jury decide the case at hand. Hence, what was decided in previous times has, in principle, a huge bearing on how the court will decide the issue. Unless there is some overwhelming reason to reject the legal tradition, it will be the most influential source in arriving at a decision.

So, we would not then be surprised to see in the 1983 code of canon law the same respect for previous laws and customs. In fact, the 1983 code goes out of its way to accommodate them. For example, canon 20 states:

“A later law [laws in the 1983 code] abrogates, or derogates, an earlier law if it states so expressly, is directly contrary to it, or completely reorders the entire matter of the earlier law.”

Here we see that the 1983 code puts limits around itself in relation to previous canon law. Apparently, the 1983 code will not allow itself to automatically “abrogate” an earlier law unless the 1983 code: (1) “states so expressly,” (2) makes a statement about that law which “is directly contrary to it,” or (3) “reorders the entire matter.” With regard to the issue of women wearing veils, none of these three things were done in the 1983 code.

Just so we know we are on the right track, canon 21 reinforces the meaning and extent of canon 20. It states:

“In case of doubt [e.g., about the application of veil wearing], the revocation of a pre-existing law is not presumed, but later laws must be related to the earlier ones and, insofar as possible, must be harmonized with them.”

Very interesting, no? Far from totally disavowing itself from the 1917 code, if the 1983 code is silent on an issue, it requires that we not presume that a previous law was revoked, and, in fact, the 1983 code says it “must be related to” and “must be harmonized with” the 1917 code.

Granted, as we have seen earlier, on a legal basis the 1983 code “abrogates” the 1917 code, but it is clear that, the 1983 imposes a legal stipulation on itself, a stipulation which requires it to consult with the 1917 code so that the final decision on a given issue will be in harmony with, not opposed to, the 1917 code. This would be especially applicable in regards to an ancient and scriptural practice such as veil-wearing - a practice that continued uninterrupted for over 1900 years in the Church.

I know some people say Canon law doesn't agree with all that... I don't know, I wear a mantilla because it resonated with me, I spoke to my spiritual director about it and he said (from what I told him about why I wanted to wear one) that it was a good idea. It seems to upset quite a lot of people, but I'm pretty sure it's what God is asking me to do, and if the teaching of the Church isn't on my side, it's certainly not against me. I guess a little humiliation is good for the soul.

Decided not to turn the heating on so wouldn't stay too late. Now am really cold!

Bless you,
Mx

Pontificia Academia Pro Vita

2007-02-27T09:14:00.000-08:00

I just spent the most incredible weekend at a conference for the Pontifical Academy for Life, a friend of mine was given tickets, it was excellent. I wanted to blog about it briefly, AND point you in the direction of their website where you can already read some of the wonderful presentations we were given, the rest will be translated and online soon. The theme of the congress was The Christian conscience in support of the right to life, and it was the most amazing mixture of discussions on various pro-life issues from experiementation on embryos to the abortifacient nature of Levonorgestrel (the "Morning After Pill"). I particularly enjoyed the presentation of Prof. Roger P George on Political Obligations, Moral Conscience and Human life, in which he explains very clearly the fallacy of the position of Catholic politicians who vote for abortion. I really suggest you read it because it's excellent. I'd like to quote a section on Bishops who refuse communion to these people:

If my analysis so far is correct, the question arises: What should the leaders of the Church do about people like Cuomo and his successor as New York’s Governor, Republican George Pataki who evidently takes the same position? What should they do about those who claim to be in full communion with the Church yet promote gravely unjust and scandalous policies that expose the unborn to the violence and injustice of abortion? In the run up to the last election, St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke offered an answer. He declared that public officials who support abortion and other unjust attacks against innocent human life may not be admitted to Holy Communion, the preeminent sacrament of unity.

Pro-life citizens of every religious persuasion applauded the Archbishop’s stand. Critics, however, were quick to condemn Archbishop Burke. They denounced him for “crossing the line” separating church and state. But this is silly. In acting on his authority as a bishop to discipline members of his flock, who commit what the Church teaches are grave injustices against innocent human beings, Archbishop Burke is exercising his own constitutional right to the free exercise of religion; he is not depriving others of their rights. Freedom is a two way street. No one is compelled by law to accept ecclesiastical authority. But Archbishop Burke—and anyone else in the United States of America or other freedom respecting nations—has every right to exercise spiritual authority over anyone who chooses to accept it.

There is a name for people who do accept the authority of Catholic bishops. They are called “Catholics.”

The speakers also addressed the issue of "the intollerance of tollerance", which obviously ties into the Holy Father's frequent references to "the dictatorship of relativism." A paper by the Most Rev Anthony Fisher on conscience went rather deeper than my mind could take in during the lecture, particularly after a pleasant Italian lunch(!) but I plan to print it out to read later. AND THEN we had an audience with the Holy Father. The address he gave is currently only available in Italian, but some online news articles have discussed it in varying depth: CNS, EITB, and SperoNews.

Also had a lovely time in Rome, on our free day (Sunday) I went to a traditional mass said by Msgr. Ignacio Barreiro Carámbula, the director of HLI in Rome, where he gave an excellent homily in Italian and English on Christ's temptation, and we were lucky enough to bump into him again outside the Chiesa Nuova that afternoon, and managed to muscle in on a tour he was giving to some visiting Americans, he pointed out some interesting architectural features in the area, while we waited for the church to open (half an hour late... Italian time keeping!) and then he talked us through some aspects of the interior of the church, including the beatiful sacristy. After he'd gone I managed to convince Niamh that we should stay just 15 minutes more at Chiesa Nuova so I could pray for a little longer at the tomb of St Philip for some absent friends, and particularly for the formation of the Oratory at the Holy Name in Manchester.

We spent time at St Peters, visited the tombs of the Popes, including our beloved JP, and before we left yesterday morning went to (very early) mass with the Missionaries of Charity. Coincidentally yesterday's Gospel was Mt 25:31-46, "Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me." which so sums up the MCs... so that was lovely.

Should make a new lenten resolution to blog more :) Bless you!
Mx

Five Random Things Meme

2007-02-01T07:25:00.000-08:00

Joee Bloggs tagged me to write 5 random things about myself.

Gosh these Meme's are pointless (what does Meme mean??) but enable us to be even more egotistical than usual, so why not indeed?

I'm not sure I can think of 5 things people don't know... I guess that wasn't the task though, was it? ok...

1) When I was 16 I was flying an aeroplane (actually flying it, me and the pilot, I had control (Sir) at the time) when the engine failed. Luckily I didn't think that was a big deal, and assumed we'd just glide like a glider, so didn't panic, and rather more luckily, the engine started again.

2) I am unable to ride a bicycle (yes, you do forget) although I plan to learn, and then to buy a pink 125 cc scooter... when I get a job

3) I passed out in a taxi and woke up in the middle of nowhere, but I did wake up, and the taxi driver did drive me home, I hope his intention was just to drive me home the long way so as to overcharge me. That was the first and last time I got stoned.

4) The UK theme on Radio 4 made getting up at 5.20 for placement all seem worthwhile.

5) I started going to mass because the protestants didn't drink or smoke, and had very strict morals. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humour?!

I tag Adamo, who won't respond because he has a Serious blog, and Chris, same applies. Laura, who is Queen of Memes, Niamh, because I haven't linked to her before, and Jude because I like her (not that I don't like the others, of course)

God's Gallery

2007-01-30T10:22:00.000-08:00

So Bro Francis's website is back, God's gallery is an excellent place to get Blog-adorning web-art :) and also sells excellent (and cheap) Catholic T-Shirts. Take a look!

"Wish You Were Here" Meme

2007-01-28T04:59:00.002-08:00

I now feel very narrow minded, as almost all the bloggers in my sidebar are people whom I have actually met. Although 2 of them I "met" online first... and one I "met" on the Blogosphere. Anyway, I'll just cheat a little, the first 2 I haven't met yet, although I hope I will some time... the second 2 I might have met, but I only really know them through the net, and the last is my favourite blogger, even though I see him very often.

Some people whose blogs I like to read rather intimidate me... as they are rather intelligent and a little trad, so I might be a bit scared of them in person. I was rather in awe of Joee Blogs when I first met him, as he struck me as rather famous in the world of English Catholic geeks... but was actually relatively normal(!) and very nice. There are lots that I know and love, but obviously I can't post them all... consider yourself tagged, if you'd like to be :)

Who are the five Catholic (or Christian) bloggers whom you would most like to meet in person, but have not (yet)?

1. Laura of "...and if not..."

2. Chiara of "Canticle of Chiara"

3. Jude of "Be Thou my Blog" (I probably met her at Youth 2000, but don't remember)

4. Matt of "Lacrimarum Valle" (partly because he and his wife have just had a glorious new baby... and I like to see babies! Again, might have met at Youth 2000)

5. Adam of "Adamo Ad Dominum"

Ok... I think I really am back this time...

2007-01-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

What a mad 6 months.

Well, you know the general gist of what's been going on, and I'm afraid that's all you're going to get... there's only so much it's helpful to blog on a site that the whole world can see (even if very few of them would wish to!)

What's enough to bring you up to date...? During my just over a month of waiting God started to make it clear that He was in fact still calling me to the consecrated life. This realisation didn't bring me as much joy as the first time round, not because I don't want to be a sister, but because of the realisation that this would cause a whole fresh set of pain to my family and also a bit because I trust God a little less. That's sad isn't it? I'm sure He'll help me through it.

Last weekend I went on retreat with some Cross and Passion Sisters, not the kind of order I'm drawn to, but kind ladies. We did a guided meditation on the first night (to be honest, when they said that I groaned inwardly... and was even less impressed when they suggested we "become aware of our feet"...) However, the purpose of this relaxation was to prepare us for the mediation, Sister Ann read the Gospel of the calling of Jesus' first disciples

As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him.

When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him Mark 1:16-20

Sr Ann asked us to place ourselves in the scene, listen to the waves, smell the fish...think about what time of day it was, where we were in the picture... and I realised that I was standing next to the boat, watching Jesus call those people, and feeling so dreadfully sad that He wouldn't call me... and then I realised that He did call me, but I wasn't listening to it anymore, like when someone invites a group of people to a party, but you think, "they couldn't possibly have meant to invite me!"

It's something that didn't make sense to me in the last months, how God could call me to something so specific, to this particular relationship with Him... and then suddenly stop calling me, and call me to something else that is beautiful, but that isn't the religious life, isn't that intimacy with Him. It seems now that perhaps He stopped calling for a while to give me freedom to choose something else if I wanted to, but his plan for me didn't change... I don't know if that's even right, perhaps I just stopped listening... I don't think so.

So now...! Fr K (my SD) wants me not to go shooting back from one extreme (not knowing anything) to the other ("Right, I'm going to the CFR"), which makes a lot of sense. I think he still feels that I'm called to be enclosed, I'll blog a bit more about that next time. A couple of things I have learnt in this dry spell.

First, I do love people. Right now I work for Xt3, which is all very well and good, but I miss nursing with an ache in my heart! I don't think it's nursing exactly, but just people. I work in the office with ever such lovely people, but it's so few and so little. Being a nurse is excellent because you get to be with people all day, and serve them and see God in them... it's so much easier to spend every moment in His presence when you can see Him in people than when you have to see Him in a computer screen! Does this mean I'm not called to the enclosure? Of course not! But I was afraid that what I loved of the CFR was a negative thing, the not-enclosed bit... and that I didn't care much if I was with people, so why not be a Poor Clare? But actually I do love it.

This is a retreat I went to with the team over at Friends With Christ, the picture is from their blog. We went to see the Friars in Bradford for the day, I'm the girl right at the back grinning maniacally

(sorry, that was a random picture, I thought you might get bored otherwise.) so, the second thing is another negative turned... well, at least not negative. The second thing I was afraid of with the CFR was that I didn't particularly feel called to work with the poor. I didn't mind it, but it was no big deal. It's such a big part of who they are, and this worried me. This weekend, at the retreat, I was talking to Anna, the Leeds Dioceasan Youth Officer. She is excellent. She was describing a religious community they're thinking of setting up in Leeds, it's going to be properly Catholic (I believe it if Anna's involved) with a charism of Evangelisation and Catechesis, and have habits and everything! And, praise God, it's in England. I can't think of better news for the country, or at least for women here! But even though I love England, and I'd love to be here, I didn't feel any desire to get involved in this initiative, and I think the work with the poor was a part of that... I guess I think it can help to keep a community real... and how can we live poverty if we aren't with it in the world?

One last photo for today, Vicki J posted this on Facebook, and it wasn't her photo, so I hope whoever it was doesn't mind me sharing it, it's the Sisters at the recent March for Life. Don't they look wonderful?

To finish, I just wanted to mention the prolific blog of a lovely chap called Greg, who was a tutor at Ashburne Hall (I think it was Sheavyn House, to be exact, I don't know if that helps). He is not discerning a vocation to religious life, which is the main reason I cite people. As a matter of fact, I don't know him very well at all. But he is a jolly nice chap, and I can't think of a more cohesive way to include him on my ramblings than that, I'm afraid!

Don't worry if you don't understand... Bless you!

insert expletive as required National Health Service Bureaucracy!

2007-01-04T02:37:00.000-08:00

This was a big rant. Which is not holy, so I have deleted it. Sorry :)

Graduation

2006-12-15T07:18:00.000-08:00

Hello, just a quick post because I graduated on Tuesday, which I was very excited about, and so thought I would share with you... Mhari the nurse! This is me with my lovely mother and father, outside the glorious Holy Name Church. Had such a nice day and then went to a most excellent Ceilidh so it was all nice. God is really very good to me.

And another thing...

2006-12-10T05:55:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to add this from Joee Blogs, A Catholic Londoner

Our Purpose and Method

...The book is really a collection of essays written in 1905 when Abbot Aelred and the Benedictine Community to which he belonged on Caldey Island (just off the coast of Wales) was still Anglican. However with much joy the entire community bar two converted to Catholicism in 1913 and 15 years later moved to Prinknash where there is still a Benedictine community. The community at Prinknash has also given rise to Farnborough Abbey (picture on the left) and Pluscarden Abbey (photo on the right) no less.

"Although written in the Anglican days" Abbot Alfred Spencer of Pluscarden Abbey writes "this essay on monastic life was throught to be masterly by Abbot Columba Marmion who read extracts of it to some of the professors and students of Sant' Anselmo, Rome, who agreed it was one of the best expositions of monastic principles that they had ever listened to."

Here are some of my favourite paragraphs, the first of which I read often for my own personal edification:

God has given each one of us the germ of the gifts and powers necessary for the particular purpose He has planned for us, and in that state alone shall we find our true development and most perfect obedience to His Will. For us, severally and individually, this plan which God's perfect Love and Wisdom has decreed, is our Vocation, whatever or whevever it may be: whether in the shop or factory, on sea or land, in a profession or trade, the Priesthood or the Cloister, of itself matters nothing. The main essential is, that we should occupy the exact place God wills for us, and do out duty in that state, so that our lives become what He meant them to be. In the sight of God the good Religious is of himself no better than the good secular, the good Priest no better than the good business man: if God intended the Priest to be a Priest, and the business man to be such, that is enough: in their respective states they are, by His grace, to attain that measure of perfection which He requires of them, and neither can change place with the other by his own choice without going against the Will of God.

...To realize one's Vocation, then, is to correspond to God's Will...

... It may be asked in what manner does God show us His appointed path? and (sic) the answer is to be found in the training of our childhood, our special environment, our friends and our natural tastes and disposition. The call of God comes to us by prayer, in the crises of our lives, by the apparently accidental meetings with those who opened our minds to fresh aspirations - in short, by the careful consideration of our capabilites and attractions.

A Season of Waiting

2006-12-10T03:47:00.000-08:00

Getting distracted by facebook when blogging is irritating, just deleted my post by mistake.

I don't think I'm going to be blogging much about discernment for a little while. With the blessing of my Spiritual Director, I'm taking a step back for a little while. I need to come to terms with where I am now, and I think I can only do that if I don't try to work out exactly where I'm heading in the future. I guess too Advent is a great time for this. More than any other time of year it's the season for waiting. I'm sure if people want to reflect on this they can find marvellous works by spiritual giants on the net, I want to talk a very little about what it means to me. I'm not quite sure what I want to say... we'll see I guess.

At mass today Fr J told us that this Sunday is traditionally called wilderness Sunday... I don't know if it is(!) but it makes a bit of sense... we're not at the begining of the time of waiting, when we think, "Yes! The time of waiting is here! How exciting that God calls us to live in a period of waiting!" and we're not near enough to the end to look with eager anticipation. Next week the Gospel is going to be John's baptism of repentance... and we celebrate Gaudete Sunday because the Lord's coming is a little nearer. But this week we are preparing with St John the Baptist in the wilderness, which (for me at least) has lost it's glamour.

Last year, this time last year, I had just come back from New York. I went expecting the Lord to speak to me, to let me know one way or the other if He wanted me to be a CFR sister, of if he had other plans for me. He didn't let me know. I faced Advent last year in uncertainty, God gave me a blessed and fairly peaceful time of waiting and discernment, which I suppose has prepared me a little for this Advent's far more intense, and far more painful, period of waiting and discernment.

There are a couple of questions I want to look at, and to try to understand, over the next few months. So hopefully I can blog about those. This is supposed to be a discernment blog, and if having not the slightest clue about where God is leading me is discernment, I'm definately there! On Wednesday I'm meeting Fr K (Spi Di) again and I want to talk to him about how one can love God so much... and yet love someone else as well. Right now I don't understand how that's possible, which is probably very offensive to those married people who love God so much more perfectly than I do. However I don't get it, so perhaps when Fr K sheds some light on what it means to love God in marriage I can talk to you more about that. I haven't stopped discerning the religious life, I'm certainly pausing for a while, but it's still there as a possibility. But now it's Advent, and I'm waiting.

(this picture is just beause I like it)

New video on YouTube!

2006-11-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

The first vows of Sr Jacinta and Sr Miriam CFR. I love this video so much! I can imagine that some of you will love it too! I'm so pleased it can be shared more widely now.

Mx

Youth 2000 Glastonbury

2006-11-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

The video is Youth 2000 New York, but it's so good :)

Wanted to post something after all the fuss over the latest Youth 2000 event in Glastonbury. Have found a few interesting bloggers speaking about it, but none as yet who was there for the whole thing.

Some background.

Here is the rampant secularist POV.

"Members of the Conservative Catholic group "Youth 2000" marched through Glastonbury on the 2nd November to commemorate the 467th anniversary of the beheading of the last abbot of Glastonbury..."

Bobbins!

Misinformation point 1: We aren't conservative. We are just faithful. We love God, we love the Pope. That's it.

Misinformation point 2: Can't even get the date right. Obviously a very well researched article.

Misinformation point 3: Who on earth said anything about commemorating the beheading of an Abbot?! Is that just to make us sound militant? I had no idea it was the 467th anniversary of anything, and as I work in the same building as Youth 2000 and have attended almost every festival in the last 4 years, I reckon if that was our selling point, I'd have heard about it.

Here is the official Youth 2000 statement. Just for balance.

The Southwark vocations director has a blog in which he has this to say about the festival.

"...The truth is that at one level this was a non-event. The young people got on with praying in the Church, on the Tor, and during the Blessed Sacrament procession. But at another level the Glastonbury retreat has its own significance. The presence of such a large number of exuberant, young Catholics in a town re-defining itself as the home of 'ceramic green men' and the 'Realm of Faerie' can only be an embarassment its pagan occupants would rather not have to put up with."

A couple of other people (who weren't there, but know y2k) have blogged it, Matt and a girl I dont know (the dúnadan?).

It's made me want to search a little harder for the video I have of the previous year's procession. So joyful, none of this agressive nonsense, however, it's currently nowhere to be found, so in the meantime this lovely slide show of our new year festival will do.

My SD told me that he had arrived to a discussion of the Y2k event at a regional chaplains meeting. The response is sad but predictable, those whose liberal agenda is threatened by the simple (succesful) orthodoxy of Youth 2000 jump on this chance to condemn us as militant fanatics, theres even some talk (hopefully farfetched) of no longer allowing Eucharistic processions in the UK. After all, we do pay too much attention to the Eucharist don't we? We should really give more time to passing candles round in a circle and wandering round in "labyrinths." Oh it makes me cross. Apparently some priests saying they were quite justified in not allowing y2k prayer groups in their chaplaincies. I'm not quite sure what they'd like us to do, ban the travellers from coming to the festival?

If someone who'd actually attended the festival had a criticism I'd like to hear it. The organisers said so many times, "this is a peaceful procession... we're not being triumphant, just bringing some of the joy and peace we've experienced this weekend into the streets... please don't talk to anyone as you pass, just smile and sing, and let's glorify God..."

When I said I'd had a blessed weekend and wanted to blog it, this wasn't quite what I had in mind! What I wanted to talk about was what I shared very briefly in the testimonies session on Sunday.

I've been a bit fed up lately, Fr K (SD) told me yesterday that I need to climb out of the cess pit... he's marvellous. So, have been through worse struggles, but had been feeling that I can't really be bothered with all this God stuff anymore. I only went to Glastonbury because I always go to Glastonbury, I met my friends and pretended everything was ok, and was so busy running the registration desk I didn't have time to pray. Fine by me. On Saturday night I was also tired after traditional Youth 2000 lack of sleep, so when Noel asked me if I'd like to be on one of the prayer teams (we pray with people on the Saturday night, before the healing service) I was very unimpressed. But I didn't have any good excuse, so I went to confession (which was good!) and we prayed. It was amazing, I've never quite understood what a privilage it is to be able to pray with people like that, I really felt that God gave me a glimpse of how beautiful they were to him. Souls in a state of grace (people go to be prayed with after confession), I was just totally awed. So much love for Him, so much longing to be with Him, so much trust in His providence.

So, while I'm not totally back on track, Glasto really helped. And all will be well. Fr K said it is a good thing I no longer feel ready to go to the convent, maybe God's finally teaching me some humility :)

Oh and I mentioned that when I settle down a bit I'd like to visit some Poor Clares. He was so delighted, he was battling to keep the smile off his face. That man is entirely convinced I need to be locked away in a cloister!

May God give you His peace!

Southwark Vocations Blog

2006-10-31T13:18:00.001-08:00

This is great! How did I miss it before... and why can't all the diocese in the UK be like this!

Southwark Vocations

The Master Beggar

2006-10-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

Photo by Shirley Plowright

This doesn't really speak of how I feel now about my vocation, it resonated with me this time four years ago, shortly after I'd been received into the Church. But I was reminded of it recently and wanted to blog it, even if just to share this beautiful poem with a slightly wider audience.

The Master Beggar

Worse than the poorest mendicant alive,
the pencil man, the blind man with his breath
of music shaming all who do not give,
are You to me, Jesus of Nazareth.

Must You take up Your post on every block
of every street? Do I have no release?
Is there no room of earth that I can lock
to Your sad face, Your pitiful whisper “Please”?

I seek the counters of time’s gleaming store
but make no purchases, for You are there.
How can I waste one coin while You implore
with tear-soiled cheeks and dark blood-matted hair?

And when I offer You in charity
pennies minted by love, still, still You stand
fixing Your sorrowful eyes on me.
Must all my purse be emptied in Your hand?

Jesus, my beggar, what would You have of me?
Father and mother? the lover I long to know?
The child I would have cherished tenderly?
Even the blood that through my heart’s valves flow?

I too would be a beggar. Long tormented,
I dream to grant You all and stand apart
with You on some bleak corner, tear-frequented,
and trouble mankind for its' human heart.

Jessica Powers became a Carmelite nun, Sr Miriam of the Holy Spirit.

I was reminded of this because my friend piF, who is a composer, has set this to music for me, and is having it performed at the RNCM in Manchester in February. Isn't that so lovely?! He is marvellous, he's just written to the Carmelites to ask for permission, but I can't imagine them saying no, it's not like he's going to be making a profit from it!

Just had such a blessed weekend at the Youth 2000 festival in Glastonbury. Will blog about it soon. I also met Hannah, who commented on my last post about the Poor Clares in Galway, although we didn't have much chance to talk. Anyway, perhaps more on that soon.

May God give you His peace!

if you would be perfect...

2006-10-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to blog this since last week, but now I should be writting the resubmission for my essay, I always find time to blog when I should be doing uni-work :) As usual so much time has elapsed since I intended to write this, I've changed my mind! However, I'll write something of what I've been thinking through, and where I think I am now. Meeting Fr K on Tuesday (when I go to Manchester to submit the essay I'm writing at the moment(!))

So last week I was praying with Sunday's Gospel, the rich young man (do protestant bibles call him a ruler...? I don't remember that) and it struck me how much I was like the young man, see he wasn't bad at all, he kept the commands, he loved God, tried to follow Him, etc, etc... but when Our Lord asked Him to give everything... he went away sad.

Those of you who read my ramblings, or know me in the real world(!) know that I've been struggling with the idea that God may be calling me to enclosure since pretty early on. It's hard though, because I so love St Clare I can't imagine not being a Franciscan, but there are really no Poor Clares in the UK who seem nearly as on fire as the CFR, or (as importantly) are served by holy priests. I mean, the priest might happen to be holy, but they aren't friars (as St Francis intended), it's just whoever the bishop decides to send you. I think holy priests are so important, how on earth can we become Saints without holy priests?

However, what I love so much about the CFR Sisters is that they have these things and they are so contemplative. When I went the first time, I thought, "this is ridiculous! God's calling me to be a contemplative, why am I wasting their time here?!" And then when I arrived on a Thursday evening, Sr Clare told me that every Friday they have a silent day of prayer, and just do quiet work that allows them to remain recollected, I couldn't believe it... but (but, eugh, I hate buts) I don't feel particularly drawn to work with the poor. Maybe I'm just proud... or something... I don't think so, I love nursing, I loved being with people in L'Arche, even if I couldn't go back. Infact, I love people, full stop! But I don't feel that's what my life is about.

If I was to be a Poor Clare, it wouldn't be in England, I don't think that's at all a possibility. If I entered an enclosed order in America it would break my parents hearts, they're just about coming to terms with me being called to religious life. If I enter an enclosed order in America, I'd never come back to England, ever. I love England, it's my home. How could I never come back here? Which brings me back to Sunday's Gospel, and my riches, which are those I love. What riches!And I guess the point is that I don't want to give them up, even for God. I suppose I do know that everything is less than God, and the Gospel goes on to remind us that everyone who has left father, mother, land... (I know that's not the kind of land it means) ...hmm.

Before anyone comments, I know that God doesn't want us to do something that will make us miserable! But I can't shake this enclosure thing... why can't the CFR have an enclosed branch in England! It would be so perfect :) Anyway, what I think is that I'll write to Sr Clare and ask her if she knows any gorgeous Poor Clares that I should visit. Then I can properly have tried, rather than just spending a (lovely) weekend with an elderly community in Wales (which has now had to move to Scotland to merge with another community) and deciding it wasn't for me. And first I'll talk with Fr K about it on Tuesday, he always has the right advice, even if I don't like it at the time!

The next thing is (briefly, hopefully!) just a comment on how fabulous it must be to be a Catholic American. We Brits can be dreadfully snobby about the US, but the net, and particularly the blogosphere, has really opened my eyes to just how many faithful Catholics there are in the States. In England I have 2 friends who are at a similar place in discernment to me (or rather, now I have one, as Becky just entered the Community of St Jean) and the other's a boy... it's always a bit of a temptation to get proud about the magnificent gift of a religious vocation that God's given me, but there seem to be so many beautiful young American girls (here and here and here for example) who are so much more in love with God than me. I think America also has more crazies than here, but I'd trade our Great British sanity for a bit more faith.

I reckon it's also harder (perhaps) not to get sidetracked. When I spent a couple of months in Ireland last year I was horrified at the state of the Church there. Ridiculous Reiki-practicing Liberals on one side and bordering-on-schismatic trads on the other, with only one or two Catholics to be seen. But I totally understand how the trads get there, because what other response to consecration of soda bread but to decide that Vat2 was a disaster? Here there's less of a problem. We have Youth 2000, which is rather a lifeline, and the Friars are around a lot, but still.... the church in the town I've moved to is just soo ugly (they've sensibly not put pictures of it online, so there's only these two) and the liturgy's mediocre. The priest is marvellous, and the community in the parish is amazing, but I find it so hard to pray! Especially coming from this and this ...how can anyone not love plainchant and properly done liturgy? I don't want to be a trad, you know? They all seem rather bitchy and superior, but I do love the tridentine mass, and I finally caved into pressure (from my heart rather than my friends!) and bought a mantilla (very cheaply from these lovely people) but really it's all on the surface isn't it? I'm not really expressing myself very well, it's late!

Anyway, you wait half an hour for a bus and three come along at once... so goes it with my blog!

God bless you!

Why am I Catholic?

2006-10-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

Found this video on U-Tube, which I've just discovered, and quite like. I'll try to blog soon, been moving house and all sorts of exciting things...

...obliviscere populum tuum et domum patris tui....

2006-09-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

audi filia et vide et inclina aurem tuam

(listen O Daughter, give ear to my words)

et obliviscere populum tuum et domum patris tui

(forget your own people, and your father's house)

et concupiscet rex decorem tuum quoniam ipse

(so has the king desired your beauty)

est dominus tuus et adorabunt eum

(he is your Lord, pay homage to Him)

(Psalm 44)

I think my, "I'm back" post doesn't say enough about what's been going on with my discernment for me to be able to continue with the blog, and to just skip back to when everything was rosy seems a little dishonest. Yesterday I spent hours traveling to London and back for a meeting at CASE (and Holy Mass and Benediction at the rather glorious Brompton Oratory) and thus had plenty of train journeying to pray and reflect.

Around the time I posted my Prayer Request, a close friendship had developed into something more, which everyone warned me about, and I didn't think could happen to me (hmmm). This has been a constant source of heartache for both of us since then, as it rather crept up on me, and by the time I realised what was happening it was too late. The gentleman concerned is a marvellous man, and a very devout Catholic so there was never any question of either of us going against God's will, and we quite quickly discerned that marriage wasn't really an option for us. Unfortunately that doesn't automatically put a stopper on emotions!

So, I've travelled to the desert, for the first significant time really since becoming a Catholic. I have a lovely job at Xt3 and a lovely new flat, and should be happy, but unfortunately am not really able to pray, which is kind of what life is about! All my enthusiasm for my vocation has gone... which obviously doesn't mean my vocation has gone, but it makes writing about it with such joy more difficult! I know it's the cross, and that's good(!) so I'm not unhappy about it really, and am continuing with plans to go to New York next year... but that can put this post into a little more context.

So! The train journey. I was reading, "And You Are Christ's" (which is really the most marvellous book, I'd quote the whole thing to you if I could!) and came to this sentence:

Hosea writes of this God wooing His wife in the wilderness that He may speak to her heart and win her back from her infidelity

and when I read it, I remembered a mass reading the day after I realised I had fallen in love which struck me like a punch in the stomach. From Monday of the 14th Week in Ordinary time:

I am going to lure her
and lead her out into the wildreness
and speak to her heart
There she will respond to me as she did when she was young
As she did when she came out of the land of Egypt
when that day comes -it is the Lord who speaks-
she will call me, "my husband"
no longer will she call me, "my Baal"
I will betroth you to myself forever
betroth you with integrity and justice
with tenderness and love;
I will betroth you to myself with faithfulness
And you will come to know the Lord

Hosea 2:16-18, 2-22

Reading further in "And You are Christ's", Fr Dubay tells us, "The young woman with the celibate charism posesses a love- a gift from God that so orients her person to Him that she 'cannot' give herself to another in a marital manner. This 'cannot' is a special cannot. The young woman could reject the charism and marry, but she cannot reject it without doing some violence to her being. God has captured her as only He can capture. If she rejects His divine desire to posess her in an exclusive manner (God forces Himself on no one), she hurts herself in that she turns her back on something that has been done to her, she refuses an interpersonal gift..."

I don't really have any of my own words at the moment, but wanted to give some kind of account of myself to my lovely friends who read these ramblings, I don't even quite know what I'm thinking at the moment, but the closest I can get to it is summed up in God's promise in the scripture I quoted, and the words of Fr Dubay.

by the way, I found this blog which seems nice, am going to have a look and see if I want to link to it permenantly. I wonder if she's Catholic, seems so much like a consecrated vocation!

God bless you all,

Support for Pope Benedict

2006-09-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

Can't find my notebook with all my NY Diary in it, think I must have left it in Manchester, so will collect it next week (it was full, I have a new one now!) I don't really have much to say at the moment... so my return to blogging is a little disappointing. Tommorow was the day I was supposed to go to New York, and so feel a little flat at the moment, although peaceful that it's all God's will.

Wanted to post something to add to the tirade of Blogs stating support for the Holy Father at this time, but have nothing to say that hasn't been said better elsewhere. For this reason have decided to link to (apparently the most linked to blog on the net right now) Joee Blogs' Blog.

Think that's all for now.

Me again...

2006-09-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

What a long break, sorry, it's a long story. I suggest that you skip to the ending, which is that I am expecting to go to New York... but not this year. Please God I can go next September. Delay is mostly money, although if I hadn't been so exhausted by the end of my degree I might have managed to sort that out. Not a good plan to go jetting across the world for 2 weeks in the middle of your final semester!

I'm currently job hunting, relocating, and resitting an essay that I handed in late because a) I'm disorganised and b) I had a substantial vocation crisis going on. Waiting to hear from the Uni as to if I'll lose the honours on my degree because of it... Oh, I got a 2:1 on the dreaded dissertation by the way... I should put it online shouldn't I? It's very dull.

I hope I will be able to blog soon with carefree abandon, it's funny to see that people are still coming across my blog with the same regularity as when I was posting often... I guess a good thing to do would be to restart my diary from NY, as I haven't turned around in my discernment... just moved on, so just because I can't type as quickly as God speaks to me doesn't mean I shouldn't have a go!

2 things, one slightly more exciting than the other (use your own judgement)

The Catholic Chaplaincy to Manchester University has a nice new website. Could do with some pictures of smiling people, but good otherwise.

The Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal have invested 7 absolutely beautiful new postulants. I can't begin to say how marvellous these girls are... and am absolutely awestruck that God seems to be calling me to join them... look at the photos! New nuns... yey!

Oh, and Mother Mary Francis PCC, who wrote "The Right To Be Merry" (where my blog's name comes from) apparently died on the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes (Feb 11) and is now in my top ten favourite saints list... It's funny that I was happy to hear that... being Catholic is a strange thing! Ok, enough for today...

May He give you His peace!
M-x-

Prayer request

2006-07-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

desperately need any prayer you can spare. Will fill you in when I know more what's going on in my head and my heart and my world. Might be a bit of a break from blogging, I know it's very abrupt... can't really talk about it just now, pray for me.

May He give you His peace!
Mhari-x-

What has happened to my side bar?

2006-06-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

it has sneakily dissapeared down the side of my blog. why did it do that? And, more importantly. how can i get it back?

hmph.

Praising God for my Parents.

2006-06-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

I wasn’t sure whether to include this, as it won’t make much sense to anyone else reading it, oh well, I don’t have a massive audience anyway! I was praying about how wonderful God is, that when you are prepared to sacrifice the things you love most to Him, He gives you a thousand times them back. I was thinking particularly of my family and my vocation (I’ve been praying a prayer St Jose-Maria wrote in Furrow, “God, I want only what You want, if this thing I’m asking for takes me as much as one inch away from Your Will, don’t give it to me.” Which is one of the hardest prayers I’ve prayed!) but more and more it seems God is going to let me be a Sister, and just before I arrived I got a letter from Mum to say that she loves me, and hopes I’ll find God’s plan for me on this visit. God is so good. So, without further ado:

God, I want to thank You for my parents. I want to thank You that they love each other so much; that’s the first thank You: their love for each other. I want to thank You for their love for me. Thank You that when Dad found out that Mum was pregnant he threw her in the air he was so happy; thank You that Mum was so totally besotted with her funny looking little baby. Thank You that when Dad was away on exercise in Belize for 6 months he wrote to me saying that my letter made him so happy he almost cried; thank You that Mum saved me from my depression with her tears when I was a teenager. Thank You that Mum and Dad were so sorry that they had broken our bond of trust over Caroline; that they forgave me and suffered with me and loved me when my relationship with Saverio ended. Thank You that Mum came to mass when I was received into the Church, and read her (non-Catholic) Bible. Thank You that Mum was heartbroken because she couldn’t support me in my vocation. Thank You that Dad tries to understand. Thank You that Mum wrote to me last week. Thank You so much for that.

Thank You that my parents’ vocation is to be the mother and father of a consecrated religious sister, and that You’ve given them a faith community that has not told them to turn on me. Thank You that Mum knows that this is all from You.

Thank you that Mum wrote to me last week.

May God give you His peace!

He said he gives me his blessing!

2006-06-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

Thursday 1st June. Feast of St. Justin.

I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
and the prudence of the prudent I will reject.
For the foolishness of God is wiser than men.

Spoke with Fr Andrew Apostoli today, founder of the CFR sisters, he said a lot of things I don’t remember (bother, bother, bother…) and how it was important not to come because of the Friars (I told him about how I nearly didn’t come because I’d only met the Friars, and I knew God wasn’t calling me to be a Friar! I’m so glad Fr Andrew said that, because I think the separation between the two communities is really important, and I’m glad they do too!) and he said that he saw great joy in me, which comes from the presence of the Holy Spirit in the soul… and he said he gives me his blessing

He gives me his blessing!

So the joy of the Holy Spirit is definitely in my soul now! Obviously it’s not just up to him, but he’s definitely a good guy to have on your side!

I give you my blessing

Get in!

Late have I loved You, beauty so ancient yet so new.

2006-06-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Points for meditation from Fr Thomas Dubay: “And You are Christ’s”

This is a marvellous book. If anyone is at all considering a celibate vocation they should buy it. Entirely marvellous. Reading it and praying about the concept of gospel virginity, particularly as it applies to me. A side note, in Fr Leo’s homily, he mentioned a candidate for the Friars who had said, “I was living in a way that was breaking God’s heart.” How can we take any glory in past sins, when we look at them like that…? Anyway, Fr Dubay:

For the ancient Hebrew, to be “holy” referred not to excellence in humility and temperance, but rather signified that they had been called from the ordinary mass of mankind to a special relationship with the one God…

Lev 20:29. To me you shall be sacred, for I, the Lord, am sacred, I who have set you apart from the other nations to be my own.

God is so infinitely beyond all that is created, so utterly other, so completely transcendent and sacred…that persons partake in His holiness simply by being called into a special closeness with Him… selected by the Lord Himself from the generality of all other human beings to enter into the transcendental sphere of the utterly Sacred One in a new and exclusive manner – a manner that becomes a state of life…

Would love to quote the whole book… but these paragraphs stood out to meditate on in holy hour today…

He fills with greatness the small and the weak who believe in Him

2006-06-20T05:38:00.000-07:00

31st May… Feast of the Visitation. Morning Meditation.

I feel kind of battered, I guess the devil finds every way to attack us, met a beautiful Sister at Hyning Monastery who was ever so old and ever so sweet, and told me that the most important thing in life is to “cling to Jesus.” That often comes to mind, and it’s what I think I need to do right now… realised today that I have carelessly slipped into the sin of pride, shoulda seen it coming yesterday “…now I’m not rejecting the world anymore…” *polishes halo* eugh! Does God want me here because I’m so great… no!

Office of Readings for the Feast of the Visitation, 2nd Reading from the writings of St Bede the Venerable.

When a man devotes all his thoughts to the praise and service of the Lord, he proclaims God’s greatness. His observance of God’s commandments, moreover, shows that he has God’s power and goodness always at heart. His spirit rejoices in God his saviour and delights in the mere recollection of his creator who gives him hope for eternal salvation… For the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name. Mary attributes nothing to her own merits. She attributes all her greatness to the gift of the one whose essence is power and whose nature is greatness, for He fills with greatness the small and the weak who believe in Him.

So the first thing is to recognise my smallness, my weakness, my unworthiness, but as JDH pointed out last week, I can also marvel at the magnificent mystery of how God makes me worthy…

The Lord has chosen her, His loved one from the beginning, alleluia, alleluia.
He has taken her to live with Him, alleluia, alleluia.

Praise God.

the picture... it's a long story, but nowt to do with NY!

Diary from the Bronx: Part I

2006-06-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

May the Lord give you His peace!

29th-30th May... NEW YORK...

ever so tired, but want to write thoughts on arriving today, as (from past experience) tommorow I will feel totally different! When I arrived I felt that I had never left, like I'd just gone out for the day and was returning... I'm not sure I'd say "home", but I do feel grounded here...

...the biggest bonus of jet lag is, of coure, that getting up at 5 am is a doddle! I'm so happy to be here! I felt this morning that a beneficial thing to do would be to write about where I am now - and what has changed since I last visited in December - because although it feels like I'd never left, actually God has blessed me a lot since then. Which leads me to a verse from the scriptures of mass today:

the Holy Ghost in every city witnesses to me

In the past when I've been here, I've felt like I'm in heaven, and I've (very literally) wept at the thought of going back to the world... and when in the world I've longed to leave it and return here, to this life of communion with God. When I was praying a discernment novena early this month (at the request of Fr K, my spiritual director) it opened my eyes to a reality that had been going on for some time, and that I'd not noticed. I was kneeling in the chapel in MRI (Manchester Royal Infirmary) in my nurses uniform and little headscrarf, just before or after my shift (probably after, I'm always running too late to spend much time before) and when I looked for some words to sum up what God was saying to me that day (as Fr K had advised) I understood that it was: I'm happy here. I think that's a vitally important (and radically different) place to start from. Last time I was in NY Sr Lucille asked me why I was so upset at the thought of leaving, now, part of the reason was that I was tired and jetlagged and rather overwhelmed, but there was more to it that that, I didn't love the world, I wasn't saying with St Clare "Oh world! I cannot hold you close enough!", but rather "Oh world! I can't wait to be rid of you!"... my reasons weren't wicked - I loved to be in New York because I love God... but God calls us to be perfect, and to be perfect must be to love God totally in His will at every moment... and as His will is currently for me to be a student nurse, I must take joy in that because it's His will. As I get closer to accomplishing this, the Holy Spirit will "witness to me in every city".

So what does this say in relation to my vocation? Perhaps to clarify it. In my heart I am entirely consecrated to Jesus Christ, no question, breath and heartbeat still stands. I love it here - it feels like a physical embodiment of the Gospel - and I feel that God is calling me here, even more strongly than before, but now there are two marvellous new factors to be considered

1) My vocation is not a rejection of the world, any more than it is a rejection of marriage and family life, but rather a sacrifice of a good, and

2) I love the world! I love to meet God in the world, and to serve God in the world, and to be a witness in the world, and not to want out of it is good, because the CFR are still in it (innit?).

God is so good.

Convent Diary!

2006-06-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

May God give you His peace!

Just got back from my 2-week visit with the Community of the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, and thought a nice thing to do would be to blog bits and pieces of the diary I kept while I was there, so despite having masses of course work to do (although I've handed in my dissertation PRAISE GOD) I will attempt to update the reflections every few days. Don't expect any profound insights, I wasn't feeling particularly profound, just rather terrified about what God was planning for me... anyway, it's time to go to mass, if you pray for me I might be able to post more often... needing some grace right now!

You O Lord are my Lamp

My God who lightens my darkness

With You I can break through any barrier

With my God I can scale any wall

(from office of readings, can't remember which day, or what psalm it's from)

Campaign to Stop World Cup Prostitution

2006-05-27T04:56:00.000-07:00

An email from a friend, led me to the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women's Website

BUYING SEX IS NOT A SPORT
SAY NO TO GERMANY’S PROSTITUTION OF WOMEN DURING THE WORLD CUP GAMES IN 2006

From June 9 - July 9, 2006, 12 German cities will host the World Cup Games. Approximately 3 million football fans – mostly men – will attend. It is estimated that 40,000 women will be "imported" from Central and Eastern Europe into Germany to "sexually service" the men.

Germany legalized pimping and the sex industry in 2002. However, it is predicted that the legal red light districts will be too small for the thousands of sport/sex tourists in attendance. In preparation for this influx, the German sex industry has erected a massive prostitution complex for the "booming business" expected during the games.

"Football and sex belong together," claimed the lawyer of the newly opened 3,000 meter mega brothel in Berlin, built next to the main World Cup venue to accommodate 650 male clients. Wooden "sex huts" called "performance boxes" that look like toilets have been built in fenced-in areas the size of a football field, with condoms, showers and parking for the buyers and a special focus on protecting their "anonymity."

• Buying sex is not a sport. It is sexual exploitation in which women are physically and psychologically harmed, and women’s bodies are treated as commodities to be bought and sold.

• Treating women’s bodies as sexual commodities violates international standards of sport that promote equality, mutual respect and non-discrimination. FIFA President J.S. Blatter, "acknowledges the prominent role of sport, and especially football, as a vehicle for delivering clear and firm messages to eradicate the huge blights undermining society around the world." How will the World Cup Games help eradicate the blight of trafficking and sexual exploitation?

• Honorable men do not buy sex because they respect the dignity and integrity of all human beings.

• No to the organization of prostitution for the World Cup Games.

Sign the Petition

Forward this to your friends

and check out the CFAM website, where the original email came from

Exciting upcoming sporting fixture...

2006-05-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

I found some great images, but blogger seems to be temporarily broken, so here's the links, look if you like

http://www.ilianrachov.com/ikons/images/ascension%20of%20jesus.privat%20collection%20usa..jpg

Happy Feast of the Ascension!

I thought I would use the (rather limited) readership of my blog to advertise another marvellous feast, which my mad uncle is organising, and as he is ever so slightly self obsessed, I'm sure he will serch for it, and come up with this blog, and feel touched that I've actually read his ridiculous emails :)

so without further ado, I bring you....

The World Egg Throwing Championship!

http://www.geocities.com/c_platoon/EggJuggling/brokeneggs.jpg

To be held from 10:30 am on Sunday June 25th at The Park, Thorpe Latimer, Nr Sleaford, Lincs. This is situated between Helpringham and Swaton.

1. John Prescott MP, Deputy Prime Minister, had been invited to present the prizes at the forthcoming World Egg Throwing Championships but has unfortunately had to cry off the event due to other diary commitments..

World President of the Federation Andy Dunlop said, “It’s a great pity. He clearly wanted to come but cant do so because he has been committed elsewhere. His staff sounded quite upset. We have now got in early and invited him to next years event.”

He went on to say, “In recognition of Mr Prescott’s own personal battle against improper egg throwing we have decided to offer him honouree membership of the federation”

2. The World Egg Throwing Championships is continuing to gain attention. People in the following Countries have expressed an interest, thus truly making this a greater World Championship than the World Series Baseball tournament by a considerable factor.

USA, Canada, UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, Brazil, Japan, Chile, Germany, Libya, Italy, Uruguay, France, Thailand, Mexico, Guatemala, Netherlands, South Korea, Dominican Republic, Switzerland, Belgium and Finland

Players are invited to register early and told not to worry if they aren’t part of a national team as we have a number of Foreign Egg Throwers seeking representatives to play on their behalf.

3. Following the NatWest decision to concentrate its generous sponsorship on hosting the Swaton Vintage Day. We have sponsorship vacancies for the primary events. Do you want to offer sponsorship in aid of numerous good causes?

Notes to editors.

Please use the link http://www.eggthrowing.com/ in any coverage.

The World Egg Throwing Championship this year will comprise of;

The Egg Cup

2 person throw and catch event. Dressed in protective clothing, teams of two throw an egg between themselves at ever increasing distances. Knockout event.

The Relay Cup

11 person egg speed relay. 12 eggs are passed along the 100-metre line at 10 metre intervals. Timed knockout event.

Early registration recommended. How to enter and all other details at http://www.eggthrowing.net/

To be held in conjunction with Swaton Vintage Day. Over 200 Vintage, Veteran and Classic Tractors, Cars, Motorbikes, Commercial Vehicles, Stationary Engines, Cultivators & Shire Horses are expected to be on show.

Plus… Terrier Racing. Bring your own. Non-terriers invited as guest runners.
Plus…. Craft Tent, Bar, Hog Roast & other Refreshments and Games
Plus…. Rides for the Children.

Proceeds are to be donated to local causes, The Red Cross, L.I.V.E.S and Radio Lincolnshire’s ‘Go for Gold’ Appeal.

Show entry is detailed on the attached web link http://www.eggthrowing.org/

NatWest Bank is sponsoring the Swaton Vintage Day.

For further information contact

Andy Dunlop
07900 26 78 70

info@eggthrowing.org

Praising God for Priests!

2006-05-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

From the Friars (or the Sisters)
May 20, 2006

The greatest blessings of my life have come to me through the hands of a priest. At an Easter Vigil Mass in 1974, I was held in the arms of a priest and incorporated into the Body of Christ at my Baptism, beginning my personal relationship with God. Seven years later, when I had my first conscious encounter with the Mercy of God in my first confession and then received the Body and Blood of Jesus for the first time in Holy Communion, it was by the power of the priesthood. In 2004, 30 years after my Baptism, it was a priest who placed the wedding band of espousal to Jesus Christ on my hand at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass at which I made my Perpetual Vows.

Because there are still men in this world who have said "yes" to the Father, are willing to lay down their lives, and by His mercy have been incorporated into the Priesthood of Jesus Christ, I am able to know God in the most intimate ways possible on earth. Because there are priests, I can be present at the Last Supper 2000 years later. Because there are priests, I can stand with our Lady at the foot of the cross at every Mass, every day. Because there are priests, I can touch Jesus, taste Jesus as I consume His living, resurrected Body and Blood in the Holy Eucharist. Because there are priests, I can hear the sound of Jesus' voice saying to me, "I absolve you from your sins," every time I go to confession.

Three of our friars were ordained to the Priesthood of Jesus Christ last weekend and I am still reeling from the awesome wonder and power, the mystery and majesty of what has taken place - for the three of them, for our Church, indeed for the whole world.

My gratitude has deepened and my awe has increased. The gift of the priesthood is not to be taken for granted. The line from the Psalms comes to mind: "What nation has gods so near to it as our God is to us." It is so because we have priests. Let us pray for all our priests everywhere! Let us support them and encourage them and thank our Merciful Father in Heaven for the gift of the Holy Priesthood.

Sr. Clare Matthiass, CFR

May God give you His peace!

2 photos

2006-05-20T05:37:00.000-07:00

one is the one I promised to send Annabelle, but I quite liked it, so I thought I'd post it here:

And the other is Our Lady of Guadalupe Convent in the Bronx... which I found totally by mistake because I'm making last minute preparations for my trip on the 29th, and one of these was to print a sheet with train times to the airport, the address of the sisters (you have to write where you're staying on your form at immigration... I didn't know that the first time, but the guy told me to write the Holiday Inn...!) Anyway, when I pasted the address onto the Word document it came up with a wee purple underline, and when I clicked on it, it took me to Windows Local Live, which is SO much more fun than Google Maps (which my friend Ronan Wall waxes lyrical about) because not only does it have a satalite picture of Edinburgh (which google maps doesn't) but also has a birds eye view of OLG. Get in.

Anyway, here it is.
Should be writing my dissertation. pray for me!

RESSURECTION!

2006-05-20T04:46:00.000-07:00

This is a post all about the unfortunate experiences that one comes across when sleeping in a ground floor room in manchester's student ghetto.

The first of such was waking up at 2.30am, propping myself up to look out my window to see what woke me up, and looking straight into the eyes of a young man. Now, I have some thing like net curtains, which you can't see through from the outside at all (I've checked!) so I wasn't quite sure what he was doing looking in the window... until I realised he WASN'T looking in the window, he was relieving himself on the wall directly underneath. EURGH. I thought about knocking on the window, but I have a huge Divine Mercy poster in the top frame, and I didn't want his enduring memory of Our Lord to be linked with him being disturbed mid-flow. nice.

Anyway, that's all fairly irrelevent, what happened a few months later is the purpose of this (rather rambling) post. Again I was awoken in the early hours by loud obnoxious studenty types, this time one of them was hanging by his arms from the lovely wee tree in front of our house, eventually, after many drunken grunts of exertion he succeeded in his dastardly goal of breaking the tree off half way down it's trunk. I was so upset, it's such a mindless thing to do to a little tree that was peacefully growing up without disturbing anyone. The next day we found what they were doing as a house a few doors down had been barricaded with 3 bits of tree trunk, a shopping trolley, a couple of fence posts and some (big metal) flower pots.

The point of all this long story of woe is found in the arrival of spring. illustrated in this photo. God is good...

Da Vinci Code, an email from a friend...

2006-05-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

Instead of expressing disapproval at blasphemy by protesting and boycotting, (and thereby falling into the trap of creating free front page hype and lead story controversy for Sony Pictures to sell more tickets) some Christians who know how Hollywood works have a different suggestion. What reads below came by way of Barbara Nicolosi at Act One, an organization for Christians in Hollywood.

pass this on!

WHAT ARE WE DOING MAY 19TH?

May 19th is the date the Da Vinci Code movie opens. A movie based on a book that wears its heresy and blasphemy as a badge of honor.What can we as Christians do in response to the release of this movie? I'm going to offer you the usual choices -- and a new one.Here are the usual suspects:

we can ignore the film. ........
The problem with this option: The box office is a ballot box. The only people whose votes are counted are those who buy tickets. And the ballot box closes on the Sunday of opening weekend. If you stay home, you have lost your chance to make your vote heard. You have thrown your vote away, and from Hollywood's point of view, you don't count. By staying home, you do nothing to shape the decision-making process regarding what movies will make it to the big screen.

or we can protest...
The problem with this option: It doesn't work. Any publicity is good publicity. Protests not only fuel the box office, they make all Christians look like idiots. And again, protests and boycotts do nothing to help shape the decisions being made right now about what movies Hollywood will make in the next few years. (Or they convince Hollywood to make *more* movies that will provoke Christians to protest, which will drive the box office up.)

or we can discuss the film.
We can be rational and be ready with study guides and workshops and point-by-point refutations of the lies promulgated by the film. ........The problem with this option: No one's listening. They think they know what we're going to say already. We'll lose most of these discussions anyway, no matter how prepared we are, because the power of story always trumps the power of facts (why do you think Jesus taught in parables?!). And once again: rational discussion of history does nothing to affect Hollywood's choices regarding what movies to make.

But there's a fourth choice.On May 19th...

Just go to another film!

Save the date now. May 19th, or May 20th. No later than Sunday, May 21st -- that's the day the ballot box closes. We'll get a vote, the only vote Hollywood recognizes: The power of cold hard cash laid down on a box office window on opening weekend.

Use your vote. Don't throw it away. Vote for a movie other than DVC.

If enough people do it, the powers that be will notice. They won't have a choice.The major studio movie scheduled for release against DVC is the DreamWorks animated feature Over the Hedge. The trailers look fun, and you can take kids. And your friends. And their friends. In fact, let's all go see it.

Let's rock the box office in a way no one expects -- without protests, without boycotts, without arguments, without rancor. Let's show up at the box office ballot box and cast our votes. And buy some popcorn, too.May 19th.

Mark your calendars now: Over the Hedge's opening weekend. Buy a ticket.And spread the word. Forward this e-mail to all the Christians in your address book. Post it on your blogs. Talk about it to your churches. And let's all go to the movies.

Not more Da Vinci Nonsense...

2006-05-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

This topic has totally been done to death, so I have two comments about which to blog.

The first is a website by the Catholic Agency to Support Evangelisation, they've made a great page with loads of information about aspects of the DaVinci code... also on this vein, the more people who link to it, the higher it's Google rating will be, and so the more likely it is that people who Google will find it! So link!

The second is a Screwtape on the Da Vinci Code post, which is fairly great. Apologies for the picture, not only is it probably breaching copyright, but it's also rubbish... I only have access to Paint on the Uni computers! ...might change it later... oh well.

May God give you His peace!

To veil or not to veil...

2006-05-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

Browsing the net I came across this rather acerbic response to a lady who is trying to decide whether or not to wear a mantilla to mass. The trads are commenting on her role as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, as if her descision to do that is somehow based on a desire to be important... rather than to serve in a way that she may have no idea is in anyway questionable. Unless the Church makes it clear that women should not serve in any way on the sanctuary then I feel that you can complain about it if you like, but you can't dismiss the women as disobedient liberals... having said this, the author of the trad blog does print some more charitable comments on her posting itself... and the comments are helpful, because her concerns about wearing a mantilla are similar to mine... I'm not an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, although I was last year... I'm not sure if I would be now, the church I've begun to go to doesn't do any of that(!) so I don't need to worry about it! But I am very well known, I do a lot with Youth 2000, which I think is a marvellous stepping stone to the heart of the Church, and if I started wearing a mantilla it would be noticed, and I think would reflect on y2k... Also we have issues in Manchester between the chaplaincy (where I used to go to mass) and the Holy Name (where I now go to mass)... my moving there seems to have already caused a host of problems, I don't want to make it worse by getting a reputation as an extremist.

At a recent Y2k festival I noticed a couple of the girls wore white scarves, which they used to cover their heads when in the presence of the Eucharist, it was a lot less noticable than a black lacy mantilla, but has the same effect, and was still feminine and humble... and all the things I see the mantilla as, but less ostentatious in that atmosphere.

The final reason I don't want to wear the mantilla is really the same reason as I don't want to start praying the office in Latin... because (please God) this September I'm going to enter the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, who don't wear a veil as candidates or postulants (and don't pray the office in latin!) so there's not much point in getting used to it, anyway, if I can find a (fairly inexpensive... saving for my visa) plain headscarf on my travels I guess I'll take it as a sign that God wants me to, and if not I don't think it's sinful not to.

A couple of comments I found from the RC Mommys post

What are the reasons for wearing a head covering? Modest, and respect for our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

What are the reasons against? I don't want the world to think ill of me, and I'm too with it for something so backwards.

Which seems the better mindset?

Der Tommisser

(I'm not sure what is the polite way to reference people on Blogs, maybe someone will put me straight...)

*****

Here's a little thought from St. Philip Neri and Francis de Sales. What if you wore a mantilla because you want to do honour to Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and people thought a lot of nasty spiteful things about you? What if, furthermore, some small seed was planted in the hearts of some young girl about modesty, womanliness and the sacredness of the Mass? What if by this your own devotion grew and you began to inwardly more closely conform to the outward appearance (we often become on the inside what we try to look like on the outside, it's mysterious but true.)

You cannot do anything but win. When you are unkindly gossiped about, you win because you are suffering persecution for the love of Christ. If you go a step further and do not try to respond or correct of defend, you have an opportunity to climb up on the Cross next to Christ and whisper your love for Him directly into His ear. By being taken for a holierthanthou type, you suffer one of the great spiritual gifts, being misunderstood for your love of Christ. An enormous privilege.

I've often felt sorry for men who cannot wear one. Thinking of it as a privileged custom custom reserved for women is a bit of a turn around, but it certainly is descriptive of how I feel about it.

Hilary

And something from the Latin Mass Society's website:

The woman who covers her head in the presence of the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is reminding herself that she must be humble before God. As with all outward gestures, if it is practised enough it filters down into the heart and is translated into actions that speak volumes. The “veil” covers what the Lord calls, in Holy Scripture, “the glory of the woman”, her hair. Covering her hair is a gesture the woman makes spiritually to “show” God she recognises her beauty is less than His and His Glory is far above hers.

In doing this she is reminded that virtues cannot grow in the soul without a great measure of humility. So she wears the veil to please God and remind herself to practice virtue more ardently.

There is no other piece of clothing a woman may wear to serve this function. The veil symbolically motivates the woman to “bow” her head in prayer, to lower her eyes before the great and mysterious beauty and power of God in the Blessed Sacrament. By the bowing of her head and lowering of her eyes, she is more able to worship God in the interior chapel of her heart and soul.

The veil or head covering a woman wears gives a beautiful sense of dignity to a woman. When she wears it, she identifies herself with God’s greatest creation, the Blessed and Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God. There was none on earth that loved and loves the Lord Jesus more than the Blessed Virgin Mary. In her love, her humility breathed forth like sweet scented incense before God. The veil she wore symbolised her purity, modesty and of course her profound humility and submission before and to God Almighty.

Those women who love Jesus must come to realise the imitation of His Mother in wearing a chapel veil (head covering) and in other virtues is a small sacrifice to make in order to grow in spiritual understanding of purity, humility and love.

The covering of a woman’s head in Church is a striking reminder of modesty, something old but lost in the society of today. Modesty and purity walk hand in hand.

When a woman veils her head she is shielding her heart to be wooed by the love of God in the Blessed Sacrament. This is a mystical ‘country’ that only the Eternal Father may enter. Her veil is like the lighted lamps of the virgins waiting for the Bridegroom, an indication that she is prepared to receive Him at a moment’s notice; an aureole of her spiritual love for the Bridegroom. Wearing the veil is an act of love of God.
Why should a woman wear a head covering or veil in church? Not to be praised, not to go along, not for tradition’s sake, not to stand out in the crowd, not because you say or I say or anybody says…But because she loves our Eucharistic Lord Jesus and it is another small sacrifice she may offer for her soul’s sake and for the sake of many souls who have no one to offer for them.

may God give you His peace!

by the way, the picture at the top is at a friends party on Saturday, where Holy Granny singled me out for looking unchaste and leaking skin and hair, and decided to make me look more modest... hence the unconventional mantilla.

St Athanasius: Pray for us!

2006-05-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

I got into a conversation with a lovely nurse from my ward, who tried to convince me that I shouldn't be Catholic, and sent me an email exaplining the reasons why, I thought I would post my response here. Comments welcome

Hello Christine,

may God give you His peace!

Thank you for emailing me so quickly, I appreciate you taking so much time. I understand that you are saying this out of a love for God and for me. Some of my (Catholic) friends get irritated by other Christians who try to convince us that the Church is in opposition to the Gospel, but I have a lot more respect for these Christians than people who say that it's all the same whatever Christian tradition you belong to. After all, if I believed that someone was commiting the sin of idolatry I hope I would have the courage to tell them so.

I hope you don't mind, but I've shared your email with a friend of mine who's studying theology at the university, who has helped me with some of the points I was unsure about, let me first begin by explaining where I stand.

My primary intention is not so much to change the way you worship the Lord, but to explain the beliefs of the Catholic Church. One of our deceased archbishops, Fulton Sheen, said that very few Americans hate the Catholic Church, however very many hate what they believe is the Catholic Church. I think, Christine, that your understanding of the Church is inaccurate, and that in trying to serve the Lord, you are in fact driving people away from Him, and the main reason I would like to explain my understanding of my faith to you is becuase I'm sure that in your life you will come across very many Catholics who don't know and love the Church, and so will be convinced by what you say to leave her, and I think that would be tragic.

I'd also like to mention that I think we share the belief that Jesus is everything. He is my breath and heartbeat, the centre of my life, and if I believed that what you said was true I would not hesitate to leave the Church.

The first verse you quoted was from Psalm 138 (thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.) This brought to mind two things, obviously there is the Word of God, as spoken about in the begining of John's Gospel, and I imagine this psalm could be refering to Christ, who is magnified above all things.

In addition to this, the Catholic Church has never, and will never, deny the unique importance of Scripture. This quote from the Catechism is quite long, but is only a part of the sections of the Catechism dedicated entirely to the importance of Scripture in our faith.
Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 104 In Sacred Scripture, the Church constantly finds her nourishment and her strength, for she welcomes it not as a human word, "but as what it really is, the word of God". "In the sacred books, the Father who is in heaven comes lovingly to meet his children, and talks with them."

II. INSPIRATION AND TRUTH OF SACRED SCRIPTURE

CCC 105 God is the author of Sacred Scripture. "The divinely revealed realities, which are contained and presented in the text of Sacred Scripture, have been written down under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit."

"For Holy Mother Church, relying on the faith of the apostolic age, accepts as sacred and canonical the books of the Old and the New Testaments, whole and entire, with all their parts, on the grounds that, written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, they have God as their author, and have been handed on as such to the Church herself."

CCC 107 The inspired books teach the truth. "Since therefore all that the inspired authors or sacred writers affirm should be regarded as affirmed by the Holy Spirit, we must acknowledge that the books of Scripture firmly, faithfully, and without error teach that truth which God, for the sake of our salvation, wished to see confided to the Sacred Scriptures."
2 Timothy 3:16,17
All scripture is given by inspiration of God,and is profitable for doctrine,for reproof,for correction,for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

The Church agrees with this entirely, and the Holy Scriptures are seen as exactly that, but nowhere does the bible state the doctrine of Scripture ALONE. Again, if you read these sections of the Catechism, which is the official teaching of the Church, I don't think you will find anything you disagree with in the exalted position the Church gives to Scripture.

It is true that many Catholics don't know and love the Bible as they should, but the Church continuously tells her members that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and should be read and studied and loved. Every day when I go to mass 3 passages (4 on Sundays) of Scripture are read, one from the Gospels, a psalm, and one other, and it is my practice (as many Catholics do) to read and study and pray with these passages, so that when I attend mass later in the day, these scriptures are alive for me, and should be further explained in the sermon the priest gives. Infact, these scriptures are on a 3 year cycle, so if someone attends mass every Sunday for 3 years they will hear all of the Gospels read to them, and if they attend every day, they will hear almost all of the Bible (I think it's all of the New Testament, and most of the Old). Sadly, many Catholics don't obey the Church, as you will know from Catholics you've met, or those you see in the media, but many Christians do not follow the Bible, and this doesn't mean that the Bible is not the inspired word of God. Likewise, the refusal of Catholics to listen to the Church does not mean that the Catholic Church is not the Church Christ institued, and protects from error (Matthew 16:18 ...And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it)

Next, adding to Scriptures, my friends Adam has just written an essay on this, so he's answered, he tends to go on a bit, so this is quite long, but I think it's clear?

Rev 22:19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life,

Deut 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you neither shall you diminish ought from it

The quote from Revelation is clear: "from the words of the book of this prophecy" surely you dont believe that all the New Testament is a prophecy?

The quote from Deuteronomy is speaking specifically of the Deutronomical Covenant, that given to Moses and the Isrealites at that time, we don't follow all of the prescriptions of that covenant, I'm sure you know many examples, such as Deuteronomy chapter 12:23 "Only be sure that thou eat not the blood: for the blood is the life; and thou mayest not eat the life with the flesh.", in addition to this the New Testament adds to the Old, Jesus Himself said: "a new commandment I give unto you" (John 13:34). Was He disobeying God in this?

None of these arguments you present refer to anything specific on sola scriptura, how can John be referring to the Bible as a whole, when he wrote there was no such thing as the New Testament canon? The first new testament canon was formed in 160AD by a heretic called Marcion who formed a heavily edited Luke and 10 of Pauls letters, at least 60 years after Revelation was written!

And even this isn't the one we use now, it was only after that when orthodox (representing the Church as it was at the time) canons of NT scripture began to appear. And what measure was used to decide which books were suitable for the New Testament? It was how far they followed the orthodoxy of the Church, which had been defined, not by sola scriptura but by following sacred tradition, which is completely biblical in itself "Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle" (2 Thess. 2:15). "Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you" (1 Cor. 11:2).

And who were the main characters invoved in forming these canons? The first person to declare the canon of scripture which we follow today was Athanasius in Ad367; his canon was accepted by the Eastern Orthodox Churches and formally defined by the institutional Church at the Council of Rome in 382. Before this, there was all sorts of argument over what went in to the New Testament canon, some wanted the Didache to go in, and the Corinthians wanted the first letter of Pope Clement I (which advocates apostolic tradition) to go in it.

Athanasius, also accepted the role of tradition, "Again we write, again keeping to the Apostolic Traditions, we remind each other when we come together for prayer; and keeping the feast in common, with one mouth we truly give thanks to the Lord. Thus giving thanks unto him, and being followers of the saints, "we shall make our praise in the Lord all the day," as the Psalmist says. So, when we rightly keep the feast, we shall be counted worthy of that joy which is in heaven". (Festal Letters 2:7 [A.D. 330])

and

"But you are blessed, who by faith are in the Church, dwell upon the foundations of the faith, and have full satisfaction, even the highest degree of faith which remains among you unshaken. For it has come down to you from Apostolic Tradition, and frequently accursed envy has wished to unsettle it, but has not been able." (ibid., 29)

So who was it who decided what stayed in the Bible and what didnt? There were so many different canons, most agreeing on the 4 gospels and maybe 5 of Pauls letters, but the final word of the rest came from the Catholic (universal) Church. It was only when it defined what was scriptural and what wasnt that people stopped arguing.

I also discussed that passage from 1 Timothy with Adam, and he was able to explain to me the context it was written in, at that time the Church was being attacked by gnosticism. The belief of gnostics is that the body is evil, and the spirit is good, and we need to use knowledge to enlarge our minds and so work our way to heaven. Clearly this is in opposition to the Gospel, and Paul writes to couter this tendancy which was spreading. Many of the gnostics, in their idea that the body is evil, believed that sex is also evil, and it follows that marriage is evil. They therefore forbid their followers to marry, and it is this that Paul is speaking against.

In another of Paul's letters, to the Corinthians, he advocates remaining unmarried: "For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I." (1 Cor 7:7,8) clearly he felt it was not wrong to abstain from marriage, what was wrong was to forbid people to marry.

The Church forbids no one to marry. I could marry if I wanted to, I would not be able to be a nun, because being a nun is about that total gift of self to God that Paul also lived in his life. But I could be just as blessed, and just as close to God in the eyes of the Church, indeed, the vocation to marriage, to be a wife and a mother is so beautiful, and the Church never seeks to undervalue it, but as everyone has their proper gift of God, if it is your gift to be a priest or a monk or a nun, you will not marry.

Incidentally, the idea of a celibate priesthood is not an unchangeable teaching, the Church may at some point choose to allow married men to become priests, and Anglican priests who become Catholic can become Catholic priests even if they are married. It's a custom because of the beautful gift of celibacy, I'd love to talk more about that, but this email is already very long!

I'll have a look at those websites you mentioned, and if you would like to raise any more questions please do, I would really love to talk more about this with you. If you feel anything I have said opposes the bible please let me know. I don't think it does, but maybe I haven't explained properly.

Anyway, let's pray for each other.

God bless you,

Vocation Vocation Vocation...

2006-05-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

I posted a response to someone having a vocation crisis on xt3, and figured that seeing as I'd spent so much time explaining how I thought discernment is, I'd post it here, incase I never get my act together to write from scratch!

In the past 3 years I've gone from hating the idea of religious life... to realising God wanted me to be a nun (or sister) and being over the moon... to deciding to visit the CFRs... to thinking He wanted me to be a cloistered Poor Clare... to feeling called to the CFRs... to meeting a lovely young man and thinking maybe it wasn't Gods will for me to be a nun... to realising very quickly that it was... to feeling even more called to the CFRs... to applying to enter (CFR again)... to feeling drawn to St Cecillias (enclosed Benedictines)... to where I am now, that I am so excited that God seems to be calling me to the CFR. And all these transitons came with long periods of waiting and prayer, and most of them with a great deal of suffering. The cross is always with us. However I am so peaceful now, because I've realised that what God wants is so simple: For us to try to do His will at every moment. So with me, at the moment, I am so peaceful in the knowledge that God's Will is for me to apply to the CFRs, I still don't know if He's calling me there, and I wont know for sure until I make final vows, but as Fr Luke (the vocations director for the Friars) said in his vocations e-letter:

When it comes to discerning a vocation, I am under the impression that we all want God to take our free-will away. "If only I could have one apparition of Our Lady so that she could tell me my vocation! Then I would get on with it in total peace!" An authentic calling always comes in the form of an invitation. We must freely respond. Your free-will must always remain intact (this is a sign that you are encountering the grace of God). There will always be a "leap in faith" element to answering your vocation. Do not fall into the trap of waiting for absolute certainty. Do not be afraid to give everything to Jesus Christ! NOW!

He said the same thing to me last time I visited when I was sobbing like a lunatic in confession because I wasn't certain that God was calling me there, even though I loved it so much.

So the point of this all is, as long as we pray, frequently recieve the Sacraments, get a spiritual director, and try to live God's Will at every moment, He will tell us, and He might wait a year... or two... or ten... or make it clear next week. As my SD says, "God's not a joker" He isn't trying to trick us, or catch us out, or make us miserable, if He calls us to something we will know because we have joy and peace... we'll want to do it! People are always stressing... don't! God loves us.

Also, with parents, they can be so hard, my relationship with my mother hasn't been the same since I told her about my vocation 18 months ago, and I can't begin to tell you how hard losing that close bond has been. God does demand sacrifices, but it would be impossible for me to say, "ok, I'm destroying my mother with this vocation, I'll just give it up and get married", because even leaving God's plan out of it: I would be miserable, my husband would be miserable, and eventually Mum would be miserable.

The CFR have some suggested reading on their vocations page, some of which will be relevent for people considering all vocations, some of which (Their constitutions, for example!) will only be useful to those considering a vocation specifically to them.

The last thing is: this Easter, when I began considering St Cecilias some of my friends were like: "that's great, I think you'd be much better off with them" and I thought, "that must be it, God's calling me to an enclosed order", after all it is harder, I would only see my family once or twice a year, and then through a window, I would only see those of my friends who loved me enough to come all that way for an hours visit (through the window), I would never get to go to another Youth 2000 festival, or visit the Holy Name, or walk through the streets of my home town... it's a greater sacrifice, so it must be better. Plus, as I understand it, an enclosed vocation is a "higher" vocation (not better, the best thing is to do God's Will, but higher, kind of as a Bishop is higher that a Priest). I posted the correspondance I had with Sr Mary David (St Cecilias) on my blog, and almost immediately a girl from America, who I don't know, posted a comment:

I'm so glad that I came across your lovely blog! I understand your vocation crisis, as I went through a period of discernment last fall.

I thought, "great... she's going to say that she had thought about entering an 'active' order, and then realised that God was calling her to be a contemplative, and she'll be telling me to take courage and follow God however hard it is... I went to her blog and actually she had felt drawn to the contemplative life, but after prayer realised that God was actually calling her to marriage. What God wants is just for us to be happy, and that could be as a priest, if it's His Will then that will make you happy, or it could be as a husband and father, the same applies. But the thing which seems harder is sometimes but not always the best.

I think that's all, time to go to bed :)

may God give you His peace!

Fishers of Men

2006-04-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Fishers of Men

This video is totally amazing... well, all their videos are great, but I think this is a wonderful snapshot of the beauty of the priesthood... a reminder to all of us what an amazing vocation it is, and that we need to pray for our priests, and for generous vocations.

larger version of the video (go as big as you can... and turn the sound up!)

Other peoples CFR related blogs

2006-04-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

I searched blogs for CFR (Franciscan Friars / Sisters of the Renewal) posts and came up with a few I like.

And hey. It saves me trying to explain my experiences of such a madly beautiful order :)

This one from "The Cafeteria is Closed" (I like this blog anyway... but as he put the CFR in the "old school nuns" box, I like him even more...)

and then there's this lovely story about Sr Catherine, who is totally beautiful and joyful, and it's lovely to learn a little more about her...

this is why I love the Friars... although I can't see the Sisters shooting bits of fruit at each other!

I think that's all for now... just got back from a youth 2000 retreat (retreat!?) and so very tired... BUT praise God, tommorow is a bank holiday, so I can't go to an early mass... so no need to feel guilty about lying in until at least 7am... luxury in the world of student nursing :)

May God give you His peace!

being an infrequent blogger

2006-04-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, no matter how good my intentions were, I only started the blog because I was procrastinating, rather than writing my dissertation. Still, I have a few things I want to write about, so I'm going to put them here to remind me...

Cardinal Martini and condoms... grrrr.

Discernment :)

"Can I live" ...a great song about a woman who chooses not to abort her unborn child.

...I think that's it. I think I want mostly to talk about discernment, because I'm going to be a nun, and nothing is more exciting right now. Everything else I guess fits into that, because discerning God's place for me involves recognising which of my talents and interests God wants me to develop, and which He calls me to leave for my greatest love (Him!... obviously!)

the other thing I need to do is put a link up to canticle of Chiara, which is a lovely page about discernment, whose author was clearly inspired by the Holy Spirit to leave me a comment, which turned out to be more helpful than she probably imagined!

Anyway, yes! time to go to mass,

May God give you His peace!

Latin in the Office

2006-04-18T02:44:00.000-07:00

From St Cecilias Website:

2. Why do you still have your liturgy in Latin?

We always have the Mass readings in English, and on Sundays and other days when there’s a large congregation we have the prayers in English too. In the Divine Office we have the Patristic readings in English. We made a deliberate choice to keep the rest in Latin for several reasons. First, the Gregorian Chant which we use for all our liturgy was composed for Latin texts. The melodies weren’t written first and then the words fitted to them; the melodies were made for the existing texts (almost all quotations from Scripture). We couldn’t use the same melodies for English words, and they’re so subtle and beautiful that to adapt them would be to spoil them. These chants evolved from the music of the synagogues which the first Christians adopted, and developed over more than a thousand years. There’s often a theology in the melody itself - for example, as it becomes more elaborate at the important words or phrases. Then, all the great monastic figures in the western Church wrote in Latin and it’s good to keep in touch with them. Often we’re singing chants which they would have known and prayed with just as we do. While Vatican II allowed the use of modern languages and modern music in the liturgy, it also insisted on the value of the Latin language and Gregorian Chant, and subsequent Popes have stressed that Benedictine monasteries have a particular duty and privilege to cherish and draw life from this wonderful spiritual heritage.

If girls don’t know Latin when they enter - and they usually don’t know any - they learn it in the novitiate. It is astonishing how quickly you pick it up with one-to-one teaching and singing it in the liturgy several times a day. The same is true of Gregorian Chant. Most of us are not “musical”, but our choir mistress says she has found that anyone can learn to sing the Chant. People nowadays often use discipline in posture and breathing as aids to prayer, or learn to discern the promptings of the Spirit through their memory or imagination or emotions. Learning Latin and music for the sake of praying through the Chant is just another discipline which centuries of experience have shown to be a way to deeper union with God.

"I think you owe it to God and to yourself..."

2006-04-18T02:29:00.000-07:00

A Big Crisis... Email Correspondances:

From: Mhari
To: St Cecilias Abbey
Sent: Saturday, April 15, 2006 12:45 PM
Subject: discernment

Hello,

I've never written an email to a convent before, most of the places I've visited have been less technologically advanced than you!

I heard about your community through a friend of mine, and came across your website when I was browsing. My name's Mhari, I'm a final year student nurse, I'm 24, and I've been discerning my vocation to religious life for just over 2 years. I've recently applied to join the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal (CFR), who are an "active" (I don't like that word, as it implies that you aren't... but you know what I mean!) order based in New York, this September, however, I've also recently begun to attend a more traditional church, a community of the Oratory of St Phillip Neri, and a brother in the community has been trying to talk me into entering an order that chants the office in Latin, and while the CFR's do pray 5 of the offices, they don't generally chant, and seldom pray in Latin... and I love it, and do think it's beautiful, but it seems a bit silly (to me) to consider (or otherwise) a community based solely on that. However I'm a little afraid that it's more important than I'm giving it credit for, and find it difficult to know if I'm just having last minute nerves, or if this is really a prompting from God.

I guess I'm mostly writing to ask for advice, rather than requesting to visit at this stage, over the past couple of years I've felt some kind of drawing to an enclosed order, and because I fell in love with Franciscan spirituality, I've visited a couple of communities of Poor Clares, but really didn't feel called there. I assumed that the reason God had given me this yearning was because the CFR are very based in prayer, which is the first thing in their lives, and their apostolic work comes second to that, however I do see the beauty and value in your way of life.

I'm not sure if this email will make much sense, I haven't spoken to my spiritual director about it as he's away for a month over Easter (he's the university chaplain, and is off giving retreats elsewhere), anyway, if nothing else, I would very much appreciate your prayers.

May God give you His peace!

*****************************************

And this morning, I got a response:

From: Sr Mary David
To: Mhari
Sent: Monday, April 7, 2006 16:45 PM
Subject: Abbey

Dear Mhari,

Surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia!

Thank you for your very good email, describing where you are in your discernment. It may be as you say, a momentary "blip", a case of last minute nerves; but it may be something else. I think you owe it to the Lord and to yourself to "test the spirits to see if they are of God." I realize you were not requesting a visit, but the best way for you to know whether you are truly called to an enclosed order is to "come and see." The fact that you still feel drawn to a cloistered community, even after visiting some Poor Clare communities, could mean that the Lord is gently trying to direct you elsewhere. It may be that what you have received from the Franciscans is meant to be a stepping stone to something else. This has been the experience of many I've known, whose desire to follow the Lord came in one way (through one of the newer movements) and their vocation in quite another. Where you have been, what you have received, and where you are now, are always part of a vocation, but they may not be the vocation, if you know what I mean. I hope this has helped. Be assured of my prayers for you, and do let me know if I can be of further help. And do give our love to Becky. I will be thanking her soon for the creme eggs she sent to the Community!

Wishing you every blessing and peace in the Risen Lord, Sr Mary David

PS I am sorry for not replying immediately, but with so much going on, on Saturday and Sunday, the emailing checking got neglected.

***************************************

So there's my crisis for today... I replied to say that I'm going to talk with my Spiritual Director, and then email back. It's no big deal, I'll go visit, then I can enter the CFR this September without looking back... I hope...

I've succumbed to the craze

2006-04-18T02:09:00.000-07:00

This is exciting, my first blog... and it's all because I'm trying not to write my dissertation, what a way to go down in history. When they're assessing my cause for cannonisation they'll come across this, with an odd photo of me squinting (in a most unchaste t-shirt... I think it's even possible to see my WAIST!) and clear evidence that I am not at all a saint, and cancel all attempts. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

One last thing, an edit, I know some of my friends who have little else to do with their time (Adam Shaw!) google people's names... anyway, if they do so with my name at present they come up with some old comment I wrote about the fabulous JP2 and some reviews on amazon I think. plus loads about some green peace girle with an extra "I" (not an extra eye... I don't think so anyway) ... definately not me! Anyway, now they'll get my name, Mhari Dunlop. And it'll serve them right for googling such nonsense!